Ball Sweat Stinks: Tips to Beating the Summer Sweat

Bonfires, backyard barbeques, and beach days! Oh my! The category is things that make summer great. However, all this fun in the summer sun comes with a price: ball sweat. When it comes to sex, some may argue that working up a sweat is the goal. But in our everyday lives, ball sweat welcomes a multitude of issues like discomfort, odor, bacteria, infections, and other skin conditions. But fret not Popstars, we are back with tips (and so much more than just the tip) on how to beat the heat and ball sweat!

Before we understand the how we need to understand the why. Keeping your groin dry like the Gobi Desert prevents embarrassing odor, bacteria from growing, and perhaps, worst of all, chafing. 

Picture this: you meet someone at a sweaty summer-rooftop-happy hour, you’re a couple of frozés deep, and decide to take them home for an off-the-cuff cuffing session. You come barreling through the door, mid-makeout, and barely make it to the bed. They drop to their knees, dropping your drawers along with them, and BOOM. They are hit with a wall of ball sweat stench. Suddenly they aren’t feeling well, simultaneously realize they are late for their cat’s grooming appointment, and out the door they go.

This is a cautionary tale. Staying dry will keep the ball sweat and what’s worse, smelly balls, at bay, making sure you don’t fall victim to a story such a this. Preventing ball sweat can also stop something even arguably worse than embarrassing odor…chafing!

Chafing, medically known as intertrigo (intriguing, no?), is inflammation that occurs when there is skin-to-skin contact. While it’s not necessarily embarrassing, it can be a real cramp in the d*ck. For men, it is most likely to occur in the groin and inner thigh area, but can also happen in the armpits and even on your nipples.

Chafing can occur from any physical activity, especially if there are repetitive movements that consistently put stress on the same area. Hairiness plays a factor and even the clothes you wear can cause chafing. Chafing in hairy areas can cause inflammation of the follicles and in severe instances, can cause infection.

However, the real star of our show is ball sweat. Sweat is a huge culprit when it comes to chafing. Sweat makes the skin sticky, preventing it from sliding properly when it comes in contact with other skin. While we endure the second hottest summer on record, sweating is undeniable, severely increasing the risk of chafing. If you want to beat the chafe, you have to beat the ball sweat. Let’s move on to how to keep our inner thighs dry, shall we?

As if embarrassing odor and chafing wasn’t bad enough, untreated ball sweat can be a petri dish for bacteria. Bacteria growth paired with chafing is a recipe for disaster, ie: infection. I think it is safe to say that noone wants to check off “yeast infection” on their summer bucket list.

Now that we know why it is important to keep your cojones cool, let’s get into the how. Keeping your family stones dry during summer, especially when working out, can be a bit like drawing blood from a stone. Here are some pro-tips for keeping your balls breezy!

If your balls feel more like buoys in the warmer months, you will want to invest in some sweat-wicking and breathable briefs. Certain underwear is designed with sweat in mind. There are plenty of options on the market with cooling and quick-drying fabric, which can provide a first line of defense in ball sweat!

If performance underwear just doesn’t cut it, there are other alternatives for keeping your balls dry. It may feel a little silly to baby powder your balls, but your groin will give you thanks, we promise. Using (talc-free) powder is an affordable and efficient way to soak excess moisture and prevent chafing. If you aren’t super stoked to have your groin looking like a snow globe, there are also cream and lotion alternatives.

The proper ball deodorant/cream can be a Swiss Army Knife solution for all things ball sweat-related. It’s not only great at stopping the stench, but it can also reduce moisture, therefore preventing chafing. Keep in mind that some downstairs deodorants can leave a residue, so it is important to find one that goes on dry. Pro-tip for keeping your pecker smelling like a peony is to find a product that contains zinc oxide to prevent the growth of bacteria and yeast. We don’t want your baguette getting too yeasty!

This is our third line of defense for keeping the swamp crotch at bay! Trimming your body hair can also help with ball sweat by reducing the amount of moisture the hair traps. If you are both a sweaty and furry individual, manscaping will be your best friend! Manscaping can be a bit of an art form, and every artist needs the proper tools. Finding the perfect trimmer can be tricky as it can add to skin irritation. The wrong razor can be the equivalent of pouring gasoline on the fire. It is important to find one that is specifically designed for manscaping, preferably one with a ceramic blade to avoid nicks.

Well, we survived the hottest summer on record and with these tips on beating sweaty balls and stopping swamp crotch, we can survive the second sweatiest yet. Remember Popstars, stay dry, stay cool, and ball-sweat-free!