Debunking the Spunk: Myths About Sperm Count and Quality

We have all heard the ludicrous rumors about things that affect your sperm quantity and quality. The middle school rumor mill ran rampant with the idiotic idea that Mountain Dew can demolish your sperm count. While the bright green hue of Mountain Dew does look a bit radioactive, I’m pretty sure it doesn’t have any effect on the quality nor quantity of your sperm. Think of Popstar as the Mythbusters of busting nuts as we break down the myths about what affects your sperm!

Like many things in life, it's all about quality over quantity. When it comes to your sperm, we would ideally like to have both. Sperm is 50% of the formula for the conceiving cocktail, so for those looking to optimize their reproductive health, it is crucial to understand the common myths that surround your splooge.

Our first myth, fresh off the rumor mill, is that tight underwear can affect your sperm count and quality. If this were true, then half of West Hollywood would be infertile. If a bold brief is your choice of boudoir-wear, it shouldn’t come in between you and your fertility. While excessive heat around your testicles can affect your swimmers, your choice of underwear alone is unlikely to have much impact.

Another misconception is splurging on spa-like luxurious baths can affect your sperm count. While heat may affect your sperm in the short term, a boiling hot bubble bath is unlikely to cause lasting damage. Sperm production is a dynamic process, and the body typically recovers from short-term environmental stressors. A man’s body produces 70 to 150 million sperm a day, so even after boiling your eggs in a bath or steaming your sack in a sauna, it will not affect your fertility in the long term.  That said, if you’re having trouble conceiving, you may want to skip that relaxing bubble bath or hot tub time machine.

There is a lot of speculation that using laptops directly on the lap can increase scrotal temperature, affecting fertility. While prolonged exposure to heat can affect your swimmers, no concrete evidence links laptops and infertility. Much like the heat from a relaxing bath, your balls will bounce back and produce more healthy sperm. If you are still weary of a laptop leading to a low sperm count, try putting a pillow in between your junk and your laptop or try a standing desk.

Rumor has it that excessive cycling can affect sperm quality and count due to prolonged pressure on the perineum (say that three times fast). For my avid soul-cyclers, fret not. While this myth may have you spending less time in the saddle, a moderate amount of cycling is considered safe and shouldn’t impact fertility in the long term. Your taint may be a little sore from a spin class, but it is unlikely that your swimmers will take a significant hit.

Another misconception is that Mary Jane can affect your manhood. Some people believe that a toke can take a toll on your sperm quantity and quality. While kush doesn’t affect the count and caliber, some research suggests that regular marijuana can affect concentration and motility. So, while your body is still producing quality sperm, they may not have the need for speed to make it to their destination. Like most things, practice moderation or if you’re struggling to get pregnant pass on that blunt the next time it comes around.

Trying to conceive can be an arduous journey for some couples. Debunking the myths surrounding your spunk may alleviate added stress on what can already be a stressful process. If you and your loved one are planning a family and having difficulty conceiving, reach out to a healthcare professional. There are a plethora of plans of action when it comes to family planning. We hope your swimmers will continue to be the Michaels Phelps of fertility, and if they aren’t, we can help!