The lusty month of May is National Masturbation Month! To celebrate, Popstar is providing you with the tips (and so much more than just the tip) on how to be a solo play star! Think of this as Popstar’s rules to rubbing one out! We are going to teach you how to use your joystick like you’re going for the high score on an old Pac-Man machine!
Why is masturbation important?
While I’m sure most men would rather play rummy rather than a game of solitaire, sometimes a solo shot is all you need. You can rub one out, wipe off, roll over, and PTFO. Plus there is no cuddling necessary or feeling obligated to offer to pay for their Uber home. Now that money can be used for Uber Eats instead! Not only is masturbation more convenient, there are also health benefits to beating your bishop. Masturbation provides stress relief, boosts your mood, and even improves sleep. Not that we needed to sell you on stroking.
Masturbation Mood
If you aren’t in the mood for masturbation, then you might need to set the mood. Before you go down on yourself, you need to bring down the lights. Dim the lights, light a candle (or several), and put on a sexy Spotify playlist. Hey, you would do all of this for a partner so why not do it for yourself? Stroking is self-care after all, and should be treated as such. Make sure to also put your phone on Do Not Disturb. You wouldn’t check your phone during sex, would you? Be present, you deserve it!
Switch your Grip!
Be a man, use your (other) hand. Get a little ambidextrous on it. Switching hands can help to switch things up and make it feel like another person is in the room with you. If you are a righty, go left and vice versa. You’ll thank us later.
You could also try what we like to call “giving up the ghost.” To give up the ghost, sit on your hand until it falls asleep, then use said hand to shake hands with the milkman. Some pins and needles may take your pleasure to the next level.
Move it or snooze it.
Doing the same old thing, in the same place, is more than a snore. Sometimes changing up the location can shake things up. Disclaimer: this is not us telling you to masturbate in public. Let’s make that abundantly clear. Spicing up your solo play is not worth catching a charge. However, switching up locations in your home may be what you need to make your next double click really hit! If you usually masturbate in the bedroom, hit the showers. If you’re usually lying down, stand up and put a towel down. Whatever you do, just don’t be mundane when it comes to masturbation.
Push the Button
Moving your hand a little more south could amount to quite the payoff. Just about halfway between your balls and your buttocks to be exact. Just below your balls is a little lusty landing strip called the perineum, colloquially known as the taint. Perineum, taint, gooch, whatever you want to call it, is one of the quickest and easiest ways to stimulate your prostate from the outside. Now, you’re probably thinking, “Why should I care about my prostate?” Well friends, we’ve all heard about the “G-spot.” The prostate is the male equivalent, the “P-spot,” if you will. Start by putting two fingers on your taint, apply slight pressure, gently rub in a small circle, and voila! You just sent your stroke session into hyperspeed.
If you want to make hitting the p-spot an inside job, that is always an option as well. Pro tip: you may want to bathe before going in the back door. Just like touching the taint, start slowly by stimulating the anus, until you feel the muscles loosening a bit. Once you feel ready, slip a finger in. You should have no problem finding it, the prostate is only about two inches deep. Trust us, you’ll know when you find it. If using a finger skeeves you out, you can also use a butt plug or another toy. Whatever floats your booty boat!
Toys and Tugging
Speaking of toys, why not get them involved? After all, they could make your next tug top-tier. Devices like a Fleshlight can simulate oral sex and even do the stroking for you. Look mom, no hands! Ok, well don’t think of your mom. That is one quick way to take the air out of your tires.
Edge Control
Self-care isn’t a sprint, it's a marathon. Sure, sometimes we race through and rub one out just to help us fall asleep. However, if we want to elevate our experience and extend the evening, edging is key. Edging is the practice of getting yourself to the point of climax and stopping just before the big finale. Kind of like when a really intense episode of your favorite show ends with “to be continued…” Edging is the ellipses of sex, leading to an explosive climax. Just rub, stop, repeat for as long as you like!
How much masturbation is too much?
Now that we have given so much more than just the tip, I’m sure you are going to want to apply your newfound knowledge as much as possible! But how much masturbation is too much? There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to frequency and flicking your bean. Everyone’s sex drive, or libido, is different. That being said, if beating the bishop is bleeding into other aspects of your life and interfering with work or other priorities, you may want to scale back.
Whether it’s in your bed or in the shower. With your dominant hand or a toy, masturbation is an important part in sexual self-care. Choking the chicken, polishing the banister, whatever you want to call it, masturbation is a great way to connect with yourself. Masturbation is a gateway to getting to know your body, your likes and dislikes, without the pressure to perform. Improving your sexual self-awareness will only strengthen your skills as a sexual partner. So, get to stroking!
Want to know more? Learn about the history of masturbation here.
Dr. Joshua Gonzalez
Dr. Joshua Gonzalez is a board-certified urologist who is fellowship-trained in Sexual Medicine and specializes in the management of male and female sexual dysfunctions. He completed his medical education at Columbia University and his urological residency at the Mount Sinai Medical Center. Throughout his career, Dr. Gonzalez has focused on advocating for sexual health and providing improved healthcare to the LGBTQ+ community.
