The Hard Truth About Erectile Dysfunction

Here at Popstar, with any topic we top, we always like to give the who/what/when/where and how. Before we give the when, where, and how, we have to give the who and what; it’s like penetration; you have to start with the head before you give the entire shaft.

The who in this scenario might be you, but the “what” is why we clicked this link and landed on this page. What is erectile dysfunction? To put it as bluntly as possible, erectile dysfunction (ED) is when things down south simply aren’t rising to the occasion. By definition, erectile dysfunction is the inability to get or maintain an erection that is sufficient for sexual performance.

In order to fully understand erectile dysfunction, we must first understand erectile function. Let’s take it back to anatomy class, shall we? When a man is turned on, whether it be by a lover, porn, or in many young gay men’s cases, the underwear aisle at any given Marshall’s, blood rushes to the penis. Tissues in the shaft of the penis known as the corpus cavernosum trap blood in the penis, allowing a man to maintain an erection, finish what you started, and well… finish. When this process doesn’t go as planned for numerous reasons (more on that later), this is classified as erectile dysfunction.

We know, we know, but it’s worth re-mentioning. Struggling to become erect in situations that would normally be perfectly arousing is a sign of erectile dysfunction. Especially if this is a consistent issue that persists for months. Of course, if you bring your significant other home for the holidays, you try to get freaky while sharing a wall with your parents, and there’s no air in your tires…Well, that may just be a phallic fluke.

In some cases, getting hard isn’t the issue; staying hard is. If your penis takes a halftime break before even scoring a touchdown, this may be a sign of erectile dysfunction. Other signs of ED include a noticeable decrease in sexual desire or appetite, sometimes due to frustration or worry of ED and performance anxiety. If any of the above rings any bell-ends, you may be dealing with erectile dysfunction.

Now that we have the who and what, let’s get a little deeper, shall we? After all, that is the goal. Very few people just want the tip. Perhaps that’s a kink even I, a sexual health expert, haven’t heard of. Let’s take it to the shaft! So, just how does erectile dysfunction happen? Erectile dysfunction has both physical and psychological causes, as well as some other external factors that can contribute.

Sometimes, it’s a literal “plumbing” problem. Things like diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, obesity, and high cholesterol can mess with blood flow. It’s like having clogged pipes in your house—no one wants that when you’re hoping for a steady stream. Smoking, drinking too much alcohol, and a sedentary lifestyle don’t help either. Age also plays a role, though it's not a direct cause of erectile dysfunction—more like an accomplice that hangs around until things start going south.

Being in your head up north could affect the head you have down south. Well, it mostly affects the shaft, but you get the sentiment. While numerous physical factors can contribute to erectile dysfunction, there are also psychological factors as well.

You may have heard the phrase, “It’s all in your head,” but when it comes to erectile dysfunction, sometimes it is. Anxiety, depression, stress, or even guilt can be major contributors. After all, an erection involves a finely tuned system of arousal. Even a pinch of performance anxiety can throw the whole operation off course.

Medications, surgeries, and even your relationship status can also impact erectile dysfunction. Antidepressants and blood pressure medications, for instance, may lower libido or cause problems getting or staying hard. If you and your partner are going through a bit of a rough patch, that can affect your sexual performance as well.

There are a plethora of ways to “fix” your flaccid phallus. Of course, the best course of action and treatment is dependent on the type of erectile dysfunction. First things first: narrow down what factors may be bogging down your boner.

This might sound like advice from a New Year’s resolution list, but 2025 will be here before we know! Why not make the resolutions now?

Simple changes can make a big difference. Eating better, exercising, losing weight, reducing alcohol, quitting smoking, and cutting back on stress are all great ways to improve your circulation and overall health. You know what they say: “The better the blood flow, the better the boner.” Ok, maybe it’s just us who says that, but it’s true. These small lifestyle changes won’t only positively impact your sex life, but they will benefit you in every aspect of your life. Like killing two birds with one stone. Or, in this case, one bone!

I’m sure if you have a penis, you’ve heard of the “little blue pill” and its siblings. Medications like Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra can alleviate performance anxiety and give your third leg the lift it needs. These drugs work by allowing your penis to do its thing and properly penetrate and pop your cork. These medications are often effective for a few hours at a time, allowing you and your partner to go a couple of rounds if desired.

A common misconception surrounding Viagra and other medications is that since they are longer lasting, you will be walking around with a woody for hours on end. Fret not; you won’t have to relive the horror of being called up in front of the class with an accidental stiffy. In order to achieve an erection on these medications, you will still need to be aroused. The medications just allow everything to work as God intended.

Remember never to swipe these pills from a friend’s stash; it isn’t like trading Pokémon cards or bartering your trick-or-treat candy. Always consult your primary care physician before starting any medications. Know the potential side effects and how they interact with other medications you may be taking. 

Yes, therapy. It’s 2024 (almost 2025), and everyone needs a good therapist. Just like we are breaking down stigmas about erectile dysfunction, we are breaking down the stigmas surrounding therapy. A Freudian slip can help your phallus slip in.

If anxiety, depression, or relationship problems are causing ED, talking to a therapist could be the solution. Psychotherapy, or even couple’s therapy, can address underlying issues, from performance anxiety to self-confidence.

The thought of bringing up your erectile dysfunction may feel like a metaphorical boner-killer; talking through insecurities with a trained third party can be incredibly helpful. But if there’s anyone who can handle awk sex talk, it is a trained professional.

Finding the right therapist can be a bit like dating or even sex. There has to be chemistry. If you don’t jive with someone after one or two dates, chances are you aren’t writing dating off altogether. You’ll just get back on the apps, swipe, and set up new dates. The same rules apply to finding a therapist. If you don’t connect with a therapist, it doesn’t mean therapy isn’t for you; it just means that that just isn’t the therapist for you.

We are in the technological age. We have a device for just about everything. Well, just like we have electric wine openers and vacuums that clean our homes while we aren’t even at home, there are devices designed to alleviate erectile dysfunction. If lifestyle changes, medication, and therapy don’t do the trick, there are mechanical options. Now, this doesn’t mean we are going to say “Alexa, put some air in my tires.” But there are devices for erectile dysfunction.

Bringing it back to vacuums for a minute, there are vacuum erection devices. These are literal “pumps” that draw blood into the penis, which is then held in place with a cock ring. While it may sound like a medieval contraption, they’re effective and safe. However, they may not scream “romantic” when pulled out of the nightstand drawer. Or maybe they do! We never kink shame!

I think most medical professionals would tell you that surgery is the last resort when it comes to erectile dysfunction remedies. Not that men are lining up to have surgery on their penis. If all else fails, surgical options are available. Some men might receive penile implants, which can be inflatable or semi-rigid. It’s definitely a serious decision and usually reserved for extreme cases. But hey, if your sex life is important to you, you may be willing to resort to more extreme measures. 

The last little inch of our who/what/where/when/how shaft. In this case, the how is “how common is erectile dysfunction?” For some, sharing personal problems is difficult, let alone sharing problems regarding a very private area (pun potentially intended) of our lives, like our sex life. I think one of the last things a man wants to admit is that they are having trouble in the bedroom. That being said, if men only knew how common erectile dysfunction is, they would feel more inclined to talk about it, seek treatment, and perhaps feel less shame.

Erectile dysfunction is wildly common, affecting an estimated 30 million men in the United States alone. Worldwide, studies estimate that around 1 in 5 men may experience ED at some point in their lives.

Another important thing to note about erectile dysfunction is that it isn’t something that just affects aging men. While the probability of erectile dysfunction does increase with age (another thing to look forward to, along with liver spots), ED can happen at any age.

So, there you have it—the long, short, and hard truth of erectile dysfunction. ED isn’t a death sentence for your sex life; it’s just a wake-up call to pay attention to your health and well-being. Remember that, like penises, ED treatment isn’t a one size fits all scenario. Work with your primary care provider or therapist to work towards the best-fit solution for you and your phallus. Here’s hoping National Erectile Dysfunction Awareness Month allows you to have those hard (or not so hard) conversations regarding ED. Just maybe not at the Thanksgiving dinner table. Maybe keep those conversations out of Grandma’s earshot. In any case, raise your glass (and hopefully your penis)! Here’s to awareness, a touch of humor, and a future where you (and your penis) can rise to any occasion.