Work Out Your Weiner: Exercises for Your Erection

We spend hours at the gym and thousands on memberships, personal trainers, and stationary bikes that cost more than a mortgage payment. While we try to work out our body from head to toe, could it be that we are skipping a section? We focus on making sure our pecs are perfectly plump, but what about our penises? Ok, so it isn’t a muscle, but we can still work it out!

Popstar is here with all the tips (and just the tips) to getting buff below the belt with a list of exercises for stronger erections. And no, we aren’t talking about leg day here. All legitimate exercises that can pump up your pipe and give you stronger erections. Of course, we aren’t recommending that you replace “leg day” with “penis day.” That may get you banned from your gym…or at least the steam room. If you are already incorporating these exercises into your workout routines, congrats! You are ahead of the (penile) curve. Perhaps it is a good idea to add another rep to ensure we are working out each and every muscle group if you catch our drift. If you don’t catch our drift, we’ll spell it out for you: we’re talking erection exercises, people.

Of course, general exercise is important to your sexual and overall health, but if you are looking to pump up your pecker, you are going to want to target your pelvic floor muscles. A strong pelvic floor is key to having stronger erections and even shooting farther. When we swing our bat, we want to swing for the fences. Having a strong pelvic floor can make sure the night ends with fireworks. You may skip leg day, but if you want an erection that is unrivaled, you won’t want to skip pelvic floor day.

A strong pelvic floor, you say? Interesting. But how do I get one? The answer is kegels. I know what you’re thinking: aren’t kegels for women? That is where you would be wrong. Much like in the way musicals aren’t just for gays anymore, kegels are for everyone. Male kegels, or as we like to call them, King Kegels, are very much real and can help your 🍆 fight ED. 

For our kegel newcomers, kegels are exercises that involve repetitions of both sustained and rapid contractions of the pelvic floor muscles. Think of the muscles that are used to stop the flow of urine when you are going to the bathroom. You simply tighten the muscles for five seconds, and let go.Of course, you won’t want to do your kegels while you are going to the bathroom, it is just so you can be sure which muscles to engage. 

We recommend repeating the process for about ten minutes for a full kegel routine and to complete your kegel routine once or twice a day. We get it. It is already hard enough to carve time out of your busy schedule to even make it to the gym. It may seem like we are adding yet another exercise to your already painstakingly long workout routine. The great thing about Kegels is they can be done anywhere. This exercise for stronger erections can be done sitting down, standing up, or on all fours. You can do them while you’re in the endless mobile order pick-up line at the coffee shop, while you watch this week’s episode of The White Lotus, or even at your desk during a Zoom meeting…ok, maybe in between Zoom meetings. Men who regularly make time for their kegel exercises not only see improvements in there overall sexual heath, but have reported a greater control of ejaculation and a more enjoyable orgasm.

Now that you are Kegel Kings, we can focus on other exercises that are great for strengthening your pelvic floor.

Planks are a surefire way to strengthen your pelvic floor. The Plank is an isometric exercise that involves maintaining a position similar to that of a push-up for an extended period of time. This is not to be confused with the planking fad. We don’t recommend laying face down in random public places, people may think you are dead. Planks are great for your pecker and require no workout equipment, so just like kegels, you can do them anywhere. There are many variations on the plank, all of which are great for your pelvic floor muscles.

Unlike Fergie, your London Bridge won’t be falling down if you do your bridge exercises. Again, bridges are an easy exercise that involve little to no equipment (although you may want a yoga mat for your back). Simply lie on the floor with your back flat against the ground and your knees bent at a 90 degree angle. While pushing through your heels, raise your hips by engaging your pelvic floor muscles and hamstrings. Bridges are super easy and weirdly kind of erotic. Maybe try them with your partner to really get the blood flowing. Bridges aren’t just great for your pelvic floor and hamstrings, they also strengthen your glutes so you can kill three birds with one stone

Speaking of birds, next on our list are Bird Dogs. Now I know this may sound like some Oscar Meyer version of the turkducken, but it is actually a relatively simple way to work those pesky pelvic floor muscles. All you have to do is get on all fours with your wrist positioned under your shoulders, knees under your hips. Simultaneously lift and straighten your right arm and left leg, while keeping the rest of your body in a neutral position, and hold this position for a few seconds. Slowly lower your arm and leg into their original position and repeat this movement with the opposite extremities. This may feel a bit like patting your head and rubbing your stomach at the same time, but it is a simple and effective way to strengthen your pelvic floor once you get the hang of it.

Now, I’ve always thought that Kettlebell Swings would make a fantastic drag name. “Please welcome to the stage, Ms. Kettle Belle Swings”! You see it, right? Drag names aside, kettlebell swings are a simple yet effective exercise to work out your wang. Of course, you will need a kettlebell, but most, if not all, gyms have them. Hold the kettlebell in front of you with both hands. With a slight bend at the knee, hinge at your hips and swing the kettlebell back through your legs. Using the momentum, bring your hips forward and straighten your back to swing the kettlebell back through and up to about shoulder height. Now you not only have a great exercise for the repertoire but a great drag name as well for your Drag Race fantasy league!

There are a plethora of other exercises for stronger erections, like reverse lunges, box jumps, the list goes on. These are just a few to help you build your plan for a stronger pelvic floor and a bountiful eggplant! For more tips and tricks, you can check out my TikTok  here.