Table of contents
Key Takeaways
Pain during sex (dyspareunia) is more common than you think and can have multiple causes.
Conditions like pelvic floor dysfunction , vulvodynia, vaginismus, and chronic pelvic pain can be factors.
Psychological factors, trauma, and hormone imbalances play a role.
Treatments include medical interventions, physical therapy, and lifestyle adjustments.
Sex should feel good—let’s keep it that way!
Passionate. Prurient. Euphoric. Painful? One of these things is not like the other. But perhaps by NYT Connections standards, these four words could all be used to describe someone’s sexual experience.
Let us be the first to say, sex should never feel painful. Unless you’re into that sort of thing. Here at Popstar, we never kink shame. However, if whips and chains do not excite you and intercourse is painful, it should be cause for concern. Today, Popstar has the tips (and so much more than just the tip) on what could possibly be causing you pain in lieu of pleasure.
What is Dyspareunia (Painful Sex)?
Dyspareunia. While it may sound like some obscure fever you would read about in a Louisa May Alcott novel, dyspareunia is, in fact, the scientific term for painful sex. Dyspareunia is categorized as recurring or persistent pain during intercourse that is present for three months or longer. It can be related to numerous factors, both physical and psychological alike. Though it may not be the way it was intended, painful sex (dyspareunia) is also not uncommon. In fact, studies show that 1 in 5 men and even 3 in 4 women experience pain during intercourse at some point in their lives.
Symptoms and Signs of Dyspareunia
Pain: This may seem a bit redundant, but the first sign of dyspareunia is pain during or after intercourse. It can range from mild discomfort all the way to severe pain.
Burning Sensation: Not the type of burning we want in the boudoir. We want burning love à la Elvis, not a burning sensation like chlamydia. Another sign of dyspareunia is experiencing a burning sensation during intercourse or even burning with urination after sex is over.
Tenderness: Those dealing with dyspareunia may feel tender during, after, or even before intercourse.
Difficulty achieving and maintaining an erection: Having a hard time staying hard? This may be a sign of dyspareunia. Some people may find it difficult to keep the wind in their sails due to the pain involved with intercours
Causes of Dyspareunia
As aforementioned, the causes of dyspareunia can be both physical and psychological, ranging from STIs to everyday stress. Let’s explore.
Physical Factors
Infection and Inflammation: Infections can cause pain during intercourse. UTIs and STIs alike can make sex less than enjoyable and sometimes painful. Other conditions such as pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) and endometriosis can lead to chronic pelvic pain and discomfort during intercourse.
Injury: Perhaps you’re dealing with a Grey’s Anatomy McSteamy penile fracture. Pause for wincing. Trauma to the genitals as a result of accident or surgery can also make intercourse painful.
Peyronie’s Disease: A condition where scar tissue builds in the penis, causing your carrot to curve. Peyronie’s disease may also make erections painful, therefore making intercourse difficult.
Phimosis: No, it is not the antithesis of osmosis. Phimosis is the condition where the foreskin is too tight. Like your shaft’s sweater is one size too small. While “tight” usually has a positive connotation in the bedroom, overly tight foreskin can lead to pain during penetration.
Pelvic Floor Dysfunction: The muscles in your pelvic region can be a little too tense, making penetration uncomfortable or painful. Addressing pelvic floor dysfunction with targeted therapy can improve the situation.
Vaginismus & Vulvodynia: Both vaginismus (involuntary muscle spasms of the vaginal walls) and vulvodynia (chronic pain or discomfort around the vulva) can make intercourse painful or even impossible.
Atrophic Vaginitis: Often caused by hormonal changes, atrophic vaginitis leads to vaginal dryness and thinning tissue, which can contribute to discomfort or pain during sex.
Psychological Factors
Anxiety and stress: Psychological factors such as anxiety and depression may not directly cause dyspareunia, but they can contribute to or exacerbate the issue. Performance anxiety coupled with the fear of painful intercourse can keep you in your head, potentially leading to further sexual dysfunction.
Trauma: If you are a survivor of a negative sexual experience, trauma can lead to pain during intercourse. Genito-pelvic pain disorder is a broad term that includes physical and psychological factors affecting sexual comfort.
Medical Conditions
Neurological disorders: Conditions that affect the nervous system, such as multiple sclerosis or neuropathy, can cause pain during intercourse.
Hormone levels: There he is again, our temperamental, testy, yet necessary best friend, testosterone. Hormone imbalances such as low testosterone can lead to a laundry list of problems, including sexual function, potentially leading to painful intercourse.
Medication: Side effects of certain medications can manifest as female sexual pain , making sex all the more difficult.
Treatment of Dyspareunia
If you are experiencing pain during sex, fret not. There are ways around it. Of course, your treatment may vary depending on your specific needs.
Medical Intervention
Antibiotics: If your pain is due to an infection, antibiotics can be prescribed.
Surgery: If your pain is caused by Peyronie’s disease or phimosis, surgical intervention is possible.
Physical therapy: Targeted exercises can relieve superficial dyspareunia and deep dyspareunia.
Pain relievers & hormone therapy: If atrophic vaginitis or other hormonal issues are the culprits, treatment may involve topical creams or hormone replacement therapy.
Psychological Intervention
- Therapy and counseling: Addressing underlying psychological issues can improve sexual function and reduce pain.
Lifestyle Changes
Conclusion
When it comes to sex, communication is always key. If you are experiencing dyspareunia, speak to a medical professional to identify the cause and best treatment. Remember, knocking boots shouldn’t knock you on your behind. The sooner we address painful intercourse, the sooner you and your partner(s) can get back to the good stuff.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Is painful sex normal?
A: While it’s common, it’s not normal. Pain-free sex should be the goal.
Q: Can lube help?
A: Yes! Lubricants, like Popstar’s personal lubes, can reduce discomfort and make intimacy more pleasurable.
Q: When should I see a doctor?
A: If pain is persistent, impacts your sex life, or is accompanied by other symptoms, it’s time to check in with a healthcare provider.
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Dr. Joshua Gonzalez
Dr. Joshua Gonzalez is a board-certified urologist who is fellowship-trained in Sexual Medicine and specializes in the management of male and female sexual dysfunctions. He completed his medical education at Columbia University and his urological residency at the Mount Sinai Medical Center. Throughout his career, Dr. Gonzalez has focused on advocating for sexual health and providing improved healthcare to the LGBTQ+ community.
Dr. Brian Steixner
Dr. Brian Steixner is a board-certified urologist and an expert in men’s sexual medicine. He completed his General Surgery and Urology training at The University of Pennsylvania and The Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia, one of the busiest and most comprehensive programs in the nation. During his career, Brian has treated thousands of men with sexual health issues including male factor infertility.
